#CCK vs. Bayside High (ATTACK! 4/3/16, ATTACK! Pro Tag Titles, Ladder Match)

Lots of wrestling promotions are getting their act together with online distribution services nowadays and one of those promotions is ATTACK!, whose shows are readily available to buy and stream on Vimeo. The bad news is that this preys on impulse buyers like myself who can’t resist clicking a few buttons to see some exciting new pro wrestling. It was an easy sell to take a look at one of their shows; I’m familiar with a lot of the roster from their work elsewhere (lots of PROGRESS/OTT roster members here). I was less aware of the wrestler “Old Poppa Sunflower” but it’s nice to see some new faces every now and then. I don’t think sunflowers have faces. Something for you to all think about. This particular stood out to me, mostly because I’d seen a shirt Mark Andrews was selling with a picture of him doing a big moonsault on it and, like a moth to a flame, I’ve gotta see the big fuckin’ flip for myself.

This was one of my first times seeing #CCK as a team (I’ve seen Brookes elsewhere, like on the recent CHIKARA tour), and they seem like a cool team. Mondai Lykos is another of pro wrestling’s problem children, a disciple (family member?) of Mondai Ryu, and the fact that this man has wrestlers who pattern themselves after him warms my heart. Literally. This may also be a consequence of my own high salt intake. Also of note is that the #CCK boys have the strongest leather jacket game in the business. They’re all spray painted and stuff, real Nasty Boys shit. The match started off with Bayside High flying around only for #CCK to calm them down with some tender loving plunder shots to the head. Brookes then hit Nixon with a wrist-clutch Omega Driver which was a bit out of order.


I’ve seen a couple of these matches with Nixon Newell wrestling lads and I’ve kinda worked out that I don’t mind intergender wrestling when the point isn’t clearly just meant to be “look at this man beating up this woman”. In this sort of situation it was just presented as “small high flying babyfaces vs. scummy heels” and that was cool. It helps that (a) Nixon is a very good high flier and (b) Chris Brookes in particular bumps around like a nutter, including a spiked landing off a tilt-a-whirl DDT here that looked really good. He’s been her foil in a few of the matches I’ve seen and he comes across as more of a schoolyard bully who perceives everything he does to be banter of the highest order when he’s actually just being a great big jerk.

Nixon climbed the ladder to retrieve the belts but, as all the best wrestlers do, she decided “nah” and opted to dive off the ladder to the floor onto Lykos and Brookes. When in doubt, do as Great Sasuke would do. Not to be topped, Andrews (who’d mysteriously vanished for a few minutes) reappeared on the balcony and moonsaulted onto everyone in the world. When really in doubt, do as Jun Kasai would. But add a flip! He might have smacked his legs on the ring apron too which was utterly mental. Everything about that move was utterly mental, to be honest. Fortunately everyone involved has studied at the Ryan Back school of dive catching otherwise we may have seen a death. Everyone doing their jobs and doing them well!


Eventually all the wrestlers rose from the dead like a collective term of Jesuses and had a big boo-yay punching session on the ladders. This was good because, this being British wrestling, stepladders were being used, meaning #CCK had to make do with the little supporting bars of metal instead of actual rungs. Lykos met the fate of all members of the Mondai family, destined to forever be trashmen and get wrecked, as Andrews took him out of the match with a backdrop out of the ring through a ladder. Andrews went to retrieve the belts only to get smacked in the face by Brookes, causing him to fall backwards onto another strategically-placed ladder, which looked like great fun. Nixon cut Brookes off at the pass though, pulling him off the ladder into a cutter before retrieving the belts to win the match.

This was a lot of fun, structured in a very similar way to modern day WWE ladder matches apart from Andrews’ crazy dive. Like the WWE matches, it tried to find a happy medium between car crash weapons match and actually protecting the wrestlers. I’m not saying that’s a walk in the park but it’s probably easier to take than half of the shit you’d see El Generico and Kevin Steen doing a few years ago. WWE also love the big KO ladder break and when Lykos went through the ladder here that was it for him, absolutely bodied for the rest of the match. And, much like a Money In The Bank match, the wrestlers were taken down with kill shots until one remained. Good stuff! ***1/2


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